In Nigeria and Africa, family is really important. Here, when we say family, we don’t just mean mom, dad, and kids. We also mean cousins, nephews, grandparents, and even distant relatives like second, third, and fourth cousins.
If you don’t visit home often, it can be hard to know everyone because the family is so big. Almost all tribes in Nigeria have this big family system. The family is not just small; it stretches out far and wide.
In the US, for example, most families are small. In 2020, about 71% of families were just mom, dad, and kids, according to Census.gov. But in Nigeria, families are bigger. The average family has about 5 people. Some families are even bigger, with more than 8 members, says Statista. The African family is really big and complicated.
Dependents
In Nigeria, if you become successful, you are expected to help your family. You don’t want people to say you are stingy and selfish. In traditional Nigerian homes, it’s common to see uncles and aunties visit. If they decide to stay, parents usually take care of their food and schooling.
This often means a lot of dependents in a Nigerian family. A dependent is someone who can’t take care of themselves financially and needs help from others. On average, there is almost one dependent for every working person in Nigeria, according to Statista. That means most workers have at least one person relying on them.
In a country where families spend about 59% of their money on food, adding one more mouth to feed can be very hard. With food prices going up, it’s even more challenging to help others, and this can make a helper become someone in need of help.
Present economic realities
Years ago, it was easier to help people. But now, with inflation at 28.92%, the Naira’s value dropping, electricity costs rising, and petrol prices around N660 per liter, even those who used to give help might need help themselves.
Imagine a university teacher who earns N200,000 a month. A few years ago, they could use half of their salary to buy food for their family. But now, with a bag of rice costing around N77,000 and a bag of beans around N70,000, that teacher would struggle to buy enough food. They also need to buy petrol and other essential things, all with the same N200,000 salary.
So, what happens to the dependents waiting for help? With all these financial problems, the teacher might still try to help but could soon find it very hard.
Is it possible to turn a blind eye to family demands?
This is a tough question. Some demands can be ignored, like asking for money for small daily needs. But other demands, like money for school fees or health issues, are harder to ignore.
As a financial expert, I have seen clients in tough spots. They sometimes make poor financial decisions to help their family, like selling valuable property to pay a ransom. It’s indeed a difficult situation.
Biting the hands that fed you
People tend to give back when they have received help in the past. In an African family, this might mean paying for a cousin’s education because someone else paid for yours. It might also mean letting a relative stay at your home for a long time.
How to properly budget for these demands
- Create monthly allocations: Set aside a part of your income each month for helping family. For example, if you earn N500,000 each month, you could set aside 10%, which is N50,000, just for helping family.
- Offer assistance in batches: Sometimes, family needs more money than you can give at once. You can help in parts. For example, if someone needs N100,000, you could give N50,000 now and the other N50,000 next month.
- Blatantly decline demands that pose financial risks: If a family request will put you in financial trouble, it’s okay to say no. Don’t use up your emergency savings to help someone else. For example, if helping means you will run out of emergency funds, it’s better to decline.