We all experience it at one time or another, that dry season when a woman is just totally “out of men.” Men can’t find you or you can’t find them. What you choose to do with this break now is up to you, but I can tell you for free that your life doesn’t have to end just because you’re single. Why? Because being single doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be lonely. You can be single and happy. You can be without a boyfriend and still be okay. You just need to look on the bright side and enjoy your vacation time with the men.
I know there are some girls who would rather be in a bad relationship than be single because they don’t think they are complete without a man in their lives. Excuse me? It’s great to have men around and it’s actually heavenly when the guy makes you happy but when you start thinking your life is empty because there’s no man in it, that’s when you need to start worrying. And yes, that’s what it’s all about. Enjoy the other people in your life. You’re between relationships, not dead. Consider it a break, a vacation and enjoy it. Open your eyes and arms and hug your friends and family. Spend more time with the girls. Do the aso ebi thing and go do owambe. The next guy might not want that many people in your life. He might want to have you totally to himself. You know how they are when they’re horny and needy, right? Go spend weekends with your parents and catch up on childhood stories with your siblings. Trust me, when you're “in a couple” again, sibling time will practically disappear.
Go ahead and fix your own light bulbs. Sure, women think there are things around the house that only men should tend to, but that's a big myth. Take advantage of this one season to discover that you can buy your own light bulbs and fix them. You can ask your mechanic questions and get to know your car better. You can go out to eat and enjoy the solitude. You can ask a buddy to go out with you. And those other things you can do to please yourself. And you know what, the next guy will inherit a stronger, smarter girl instead of a needy, whiny one. Rebuild your finances. There's no better time than now to reevaluate your life and your values. Sure, it's easy to let a rich guy pay your bills and generally spoil you, but when he's gone, and he will be at some point, what happens then? Will you start looking for a replacement? What does that make you? Now that you're unencumbered, dust yourself off and build a career or a business. You'll look back and thank me for telling you.
Men don't guarantee happiness. Being in a relationship won't necessarily make you happy. You know as well as I do that there are a dozen women who are in relationships that make them tear their hair out and cry into their pillows. Men cheat on them or are abusive. How are those miserable women better than you? Not at all, because having a man in your life doesn't guarantee happiness. So stop equating a relationship with happiness. You can be happy without a man because your happiness actually depends on you, not on a silver-tongued man and his six-pack. Spread your wings and do something new. Once there's a man in your life, your life changes. You have to adapt to him and what he wants. Sometimes, you're even limited by what he wants to do. So, now that you're single, make the most of it. Go to the movies in the morning instead of at night. Eat in bed. Go on trips with your friends. Accept additional responsibilities and longer hours at work. Push the boundaries of your career. You don't have to worry about your man feeling left out. Explore new hobbies. There's a lot you need to do before the next guy comes along with his own version of the Ten Commandments.
If you are waiting for someone else to make you happy, you are setting yourself up for misery. Your happiness is your own business. In fact, it has been said that happiness is a choice. You must be determined to do things that make your heart happy and go ahead and do it. Come to think of it, have you ever wondered why so many married women are sad and suicidal if being with a man guarantees happiness? Don't you know at least a dozen women who would throw themselves into a dead end of their marriage if it weren't for what society would say? No man can make you happy if you are not a happy person. Don't set yourself up for disappointment. Take responsibility for yourself, for your state of mind. If you are not happy with yourself, you will never be happy with a man. A man can only contribute to your happiness, but you cannot put all the responsibility for your happiness on him.
Think about all the stress you had in your last two relationships and compare it to the peace and quiet of having to worry only about yourself. No one can interpret the meaning of what you haven't said. Remember how you wondered and worried if his sister or friends would approve of you and if you had said the right things when you first met his mother. Now, all of that is gone. There is no drama, no stress. Just enjoy it. While it lasts, that is all.
One of the best things about being single is that you can dress to please yourself. If you don't want to wear makeup, then don't wear it. You don't have to spend 60 minutes wondering if the dress you prefer shows too much cleavage or too little, or if the pants are too tight. You can wear whatever you want whenever you want. Without a man, you could go a week in the same clothes without showering if you wanted. You can wear your comfy black bra for two weeks. Who knows when there isn't a boyfriend “doing a general check-up.” Not that I recommend any of that, but you get my meaning. You can dress for yourself, not for someone else. Just picture it: old long cotton nightgown, no sexy lingerie or lacy, tight bra! And you can also eat in bed and fart all you want.
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Life is one big journey that involves a lot of things and you are the center of it all. In reality, you don't have to focus only on finding a man. Let the men do the hunting until it is absolutely inevitable that you will go hunting. And if there is an interlude, make it a man's vacation. Make the most of your “man-free” season. Some of us will find a man along the way and that will add to our happiness. Others will remain single and other things will make them just as happy. Just don't deny yourself happiness because society says every woman should have a man in her life. There is no one called society and it is your life to live as you see fit.