Nobody understands it. How could he do it? Why did he do it after all these years? An affair after 25 years of marriage and three grown children? What are you still looking for? What hasn't God blessed her with? Her husband is rich, healthy and her children are well. But Mrs. B did it and that's it. She is 52 years old and cheats on her husband. It's hard to understand, I guess, but it happened and somewhere, as you read this, it's probably happening again. Older women who betray their spouses. There is research that even shows that it is not a Nigerian thing. So why do grandmothers have affairs?
Let's look at the case that inspired this column today. I must confess that I cannot tell you all the wheres and to what extent. It's just that I can hear things, all kinds of things except this one I'm sharing.
Mrs. B and Uncle Akin have been married for 25 years and have three adult children who studied and are studying in Canada. Meaning: the nest is empty. Now there are only the couple and their domestic staff at home. The problem is that Akin is barely present. Madam B was once a top executive at a bank, but she is now retired and has a lot of free time. She goes to the gym four times a week and parties on the weekends to keep busy.
According to her, she goes to those parties just to fill time and space. “The truth is that I have felt alone for a long time. Even when I was at the bank, my husband barely had time for me. Either he was on a long trip or another or he was hanging out with his friends. There was always one meeting or another in Nigeria or abroad. Yes, he picked up his tickets and we were comfortable but I almost didn't see him. As a working woman, my job kept me busy and tired at the end of the day and on weekends. So I managed better. She knew he had girlfriends too, but he kept them away as much as he could, but he knew that most of the time.
“However, the last three years have been really difficult. Now I run a consultancy and rarely go out. Meanwhile, Akin remains as busy as ever. When I complained about his absences and my loneliness, he laughed and told me to go spend more time with my children. He asked if old women feel lonely. But I don't feel old. In fact, I don't feel any different than I did 10 years ago. I am also one of those women who arrive late to menopause. My sexual needs are still there, but above the sexual needs is the need to be with my husband, to spend time with my man. But he was almost never here. I eat alone, sleep alone, and watch television alone.
“It got so bad that I started sitting on the balcony and chatting to the gardener while he worked. So this thing with Daniel just happened. My husband hadn't made love to me in seven months. When I was home, I was too tired to do anything more than a kiss and a hug. Dan is a divorcee who used the same gym as me. We were both two lonely people killing time at the gym. It makes me laugh. We share the same taste for novels and entertainment in general. One thing led to another and we had breakfast together, then dinner, and then we were intimate.
“At first I felt ashamed, so much so that I couldn't go to church the following Sunday. I felt very dirty. It's the first time in 25 years that another man sees my nakedness. I felt guilty but somehow I felt alive, well, like a woman again. It's been six months since Daniel and I started this and I must confess that it has been fun. I have lost weight and am trying hard to keep Dan's interest. My husband still goes back and forth, thinking: I guess I'm an old lady who should worry about her blood pressure, more about the well-being of her children than about sex. Dan thinks I'm a good old wine to sip on. We are secret lovers eating the forbidden fruit that, for now, is too delicious for me to spit out.
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Mrs 'B' hasn't been caught with her pants down yet, but we can generally find her guilty. About what? Infidelity. But what is her husband guilty of or is he clean and innocent? Is it the aggrieved party who did not deserve to be deceived? There is no such thing. Let's be realistic. Uncle Akin left his farm unattended and now the weeds are choking out everything he had planted in 25 years.
Women, including grandmothers, do not go unnoticed. This is how God created us. Yes, some women have more control over their libido than others. Many can cope with loneliness better than others. But all women are susceptible to temptation. Those juices that ran wild in his veins when you first set him on fire all those years never really dry up. All your access points are still hot. You can cool them down and hibernate them for a long time, but activation is just a click away. Right finger on the right buttons and voila, the access points come to life, all energized and raring to go.
Some women have the ability to resist temptation. Many manage to flee when they see tense muscles and hear hoarse, evil voices. But there are still married women, a significant percentage, who think that it is easier to fall into temptation than to resist it. They feel first and think later.
Lesson? A woman is a woman forever. There is no retirement age for wanting to be pampered, pampered and pampered. Maybe at 80 sex isn't a thing anymore, but until she doesn't want it anymore, buddy, you'd do well not to starve her because there's always a sexy, willing Daniel not far away. Everyone, including grandmothers, has needs. that don't just disappear because of a few strands of gray here and there. According to a new study from the Institute of Family Studies, “the older you are, the more likely you are to cheat.” 20 percent of married people over 55 have had extramarital sex, while only 14 percent of those under 55 have been unfaithful. However, couples in their 50s and 60s were the most likely to cheat.
What is worse? The number of older couples cheating on their spouses is increasing. So, dear friend, this is reality. It's not pleasant at all, but if you leave the doors wide open, who can you blame if very skinny girls or virile hunks walk in and melt into your ice cream?